


Cooking

by donnarafiki



Series: One shots of Drarry in the kitchen [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cooking, Domestic, M/M, Short One Shot, domestic drarry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:35:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donnarafiki/pseuds/donnarafiki
Summary: A domestic drarry one shot guaranteed to cheer up a bad day or make a good day even better (I hope)





	Cooking

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I do metion the word penis, but in the least sexy way ever   
> i thought i'd say it anyway though

“What the hell is that?” Harry stood on his toes to watch over his boyfriend’s shoulder and pulled a disgusted face as he caught view of the sausage in the bowl of water.

“It’s a bratwurst.” Draco replied, bending his knees a little so that Harry got a better view.

“Why is it in a bowl of water?”

“I don’t know.” Draco shrugged and accidentally hit Harry square in the chin. He didn’t apologize, it wasn’t his fault Harry was so tiny. “It said I was supposed to do this on the packaging.”

“You’ve never made bratwurst before?” Harry gave him a quizzical look. Draco had become quite the cook according to his previous flatmate Gabrielle Delacour. Bratwurst didn’t sound very fancy though, so maybe it had just been too plebeian for him.

“Nope, nor anything else with meat. I don’t eat it anymore.” Draco stepped sideways to check on the potatoes and immediately missed the heat of Harry’s chin.

“Are you a vegetarian?” Draco nodded. Harry made a surprised sound and looked back at the bratwurst again. 

“It looks like a penis.” Draco nearly dropped the pan with potatoes. 

“It looks like a  _ what _ ?” This time it was his turn to look surprised.

“It looks like a penis. A swollen penis. And then I don’t mean an erect one but like someone dumped a body in a lake and left it there for a couple days.” Draco was shaking his head as he listened to his boyfriend describe a bratwurst penis in the least sexy way ever. “Oh and he skinned it first. The penis I mean. Or at least I don’t recognize an epidermis anywhere in that thing.”

Harry looked up to him like it was completely normal to go into a detailed description of how food looked like the swollen penis of a dead naked person. 

“I think you may have just ruined penisses for me.” Draco announced, still shaking his head as he started putting the potatoes on a plate.

Harry threw his hands in the air while calling out “don’t blame me I never had a proper childhood.”

“Neither did I yet I don’t go about telling my new flatmate the bratwurst they are trying to prepare looks like a dead guy’s penis.” Draco emphasized his words by waving a large ladle in front of Harry. It was only with the greatest effort that he kept a straight face, but as he saw Harry was already letting through a tiny smile he held onto his pureblood mask just a little longer. He refused to let Harry win again. 

“But then I am not preparing you a bratwurst so that would be rather difficult for you to do. Now of course you could describe your own bratwurst as a dead guy’s penis but then the format wouldn’t be the same, and I’m not going to make you bratwurst because the notorious ex death eater Draco Malfoy apparently does not eat meat.” 

“I feel like the point you are trying to make is not really coming across Harry.” Draco replied as he set about preparing the vegetables. “Though when you say it’s odd that  _ I _ don’t eat meat, then how strange is it that the great hero and baby hugger of wizarding britain does frequently sink his teeth into an animal corpse?”

“Well if you put it like that then I don’t fancy that bratwurst anymore.” Harry pulled a face and pushed the bowl with the bratwurst away. 

“So you’re saying that you would have wanted it if I hadn’t said that? You are fine with eating a swollen skinned dead human penis but not an animal corpse?” Draco eyed Harry with suspicion. He didn’t believe a single word he said. 

“Oh just stop talking about it already and throw that thing in the trash. I’ll be a vegetarian from now on too then.” Harry stuck out his tongue and had already vanished the bratwurst before Draco could reply. “It’s not practical to cook with and without meat every time anyway.” 

“It’s not practical to cook for you at all.” Draco sighed as he eyed the meal he’d made. “I bet you’ll tell me that half of my fruit salad I made for desert looks like a vagina.” 

Harry grinned. “Well you have to admit that grapefruit-”

“Don’t you dare ruin grapefruit for me too Potter.” Draco grabbed a nearby dish towel and smacked Harry’s butt hard enough to actually hurt. “Or you’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Which, if you look from the right angle-”

“OUR COUCH DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A BUTT CRACK HARRY JAMES POTTER AND NOW KINDLY FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BLOODY INNUENDOS.” Draco announced as he chased Harry away from the kitchen while attacking him with the dish towel again.

“Well talking about bloo- ouch that hurt!” Harry rubbed his painful ribs as he eyed Draco with a sad pout. Now it was Draco’s turn to stick out his tongue, and Harry’s turn to step in and steal the dish towel. 

Harry held up the towel. “You know with your origami skills-”

“I can make a deadly weapon and kill you and then myself because you just ruined food for me.” Draco crossed his arms and glared. Harry crossed his arms and stared out of the window. 

Then they both laughed. Merlin help them, they were both so hopelessly in love.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i am a vegetarian and had to make bratwurst   
> how could i not turn that into a fic? i mean this is how my brain works sorry  
> hope you enjoyed though! kudos and comments are loved and cherished forever! especially comments who tell me how to spell cherished bc i don't think this is the way!


End file.
